Brent Haskell article: Jeshua: On Marriage
Greetings to you. I am Jeshua. You have asked me about marriage. Of that I would speak this moment.
How is it that you can marry? For indeed, can you change in any sense what already is? Do you not desire but to become One in the eyes of the world? But I tell you truly, you are naught but One, and can never be otherwise. I would advise you at this moment, as you come to marry, be very cautious that you not allow your marriage itself to set up a barrier between the two of you and the others in your world.
It is all well and good that you should stand before those whom you love, and take these vows. For the sharing that you do openly, with your words, through your bodies, benefits not only yourselves, but all the others whom you would share this with.
As you come to marry, what can you bring? What gift can you bestow upon someone you love who has everything? Ah, the gift you shall bring to this marriage is the promise to honor the truth that your spouse has everything, always. And how is it that you honor the simple truth that everything is his, or hers? You honor it by promising to do your best, from this moment until the end of time and beyond– by promising to do your best, each moment, not to allow any fear to enter this relationship, this marriage.
For what is it to marry except to make a public statement that says, in your presence, my beloved, I stand unafraid? What is it to marry except to stand before the world and to say, I have found this being, this person, in whose presence fear dissolves into a nothingness? And what is it to marry except to say, in the absence of my own fear, I promise you the right to live your life without fear, as well?
Do not think that the absence of fear promises that there shall be no change. For it is not so. Each of you, man and woman, myself, God, Life itself, is change, in a never-ending ebb and flow, within and without, of Being, unrestricted, again without fear. That is, indeed, but Life. And that is indeed, but Love. So never think that you can stand and promise not to change. For in the next moment, I promise you, you are a different being from the person that seemed to occupy the moment before.
If you cannot promise not to change, then how can you dispel fear? For does not safety lie in the absence of change? No, indeed. Safety lies in the awareness that you are free to be what you are, without judgment and without condemnation, for all of your life, and for all of time. And so you come to each other to bring, to receive and to give, the absence of fear, for the rest of your lives.
How can you promise, in your time, to give that, when everything is change, moment upon moment upon forever? And you can, and shall, do it thusly– your true love, the love that shall release you from your own fear, and release your beloved from his or hers, is your total openness and honesty. Of course, I am speaking now of the Holy Relationship, and the Holy Instant. As you marry, there is but one promise you can make, which should be a valid attempt for you to keep for the remainder of your days, throughout space and time and beyond. And that is the promise of openness, and honesty.
And so if you would bring a marriage vow to this day, to this moment, then let it be this– My beloved, I come here this day to set you free. The gift that I bring to you, which shall be my gift to myself, and to us in our Oneness– the gift that I bring is my openness and my honesty. I pledge to you this day, and from henceforth, that there shall be no secrets between us. I pledge to you this day that I stand open and naked in spirit before you, always to remain so. And therefore, as I stand open and naked before you, you are free to be the same with me. If you shall change, I promise you to do my best to allow you that freedom to do so.
Ah, but what if fear creeps upon your being, either one of you? Then contained within this same promise of honesty and openness you bring, your promise shall be thus– In my openness and my honesty, in my willingness to stand before you naked in spirit, I promise to do my best to realize, when you are afraid, that what you need is Love. I therefore promise to do my best, when you are afraid, not to react to that selfsame fear, and not to participate in it with you. For were I to do so, it would no longer be love. And it is my wish that in the days when I am afraid, that you, in the same openness, shall out of Love, not participate in my fear with me. For if one of us stands beyond fear, then that shall carry both of us beyond that same fear, for now and all of our days.
You come to marry to become One. But you cannot change what already is. All that you can change is appearance. So as you stand before the world, there is appearance that shall change. And these words shall help to structure that appearance. And always let that appearance be a message of unity, a message of Oneness, and a message of Love to the entire world. As you stand, together now, in your Oneness, let it be your pledge, that in the safety that you share, in your openness, let it be your pledge that all other beings shall from henceforth be absolutely safe in your presence. Let this be your pledge to all those present, and to everyone in the world, that they shall, in your eyes, both of you, see but safety and openness, and love, and the freedom to be, without judgment or condemnation.
And what you shall find, I tell you this day, is that as each of you, the individual, learns true openness and true freedom from each other, then shall you extend it outward to your world. And as your world receives it, it shall magnify your own lives. And you shall grow and grow and grow in this marriage, and in this love, in ways beyond what you can measure this day. That is all.
Brent A. Haskell, Ph.D., D.O.